Oppo Rally: We Cheated

"Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish" (mrfist) 10/04/2018 at 08:00 • Filed to: Oppo Rally, duckgate

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In the interest of full disclosure, this is Team FiST Fetish’s confession.

We didn’t plan on cheating but, as a rookie team we wanted to win more than anything. We started out strong, real strong. First ones at the first checkpoint.

The duck was never supposed to be out mascot. We left our 36" tall Kylo Ren at home because we were in a rush to get to the start point. When we got to the start all we had was the duck.

The rally was going swimmingly and we were absolutely killing it by taking the “Wrong Way” set of challenges. We were hitting every damn point on our list and felt like we couldn’t lose (and we wouldn’t have) if we could keep up the pace.

Seriously, we were killing it for awhile. Right up until we lost the duck. “Alright, go get the picture”, “sure, where is the duck?”. It was gone. We ripped the car apart trying to find it and it was nowhere to be found. We weighed our options, do we go back and look for our duck at the last spot (a 30 minute drive in the wrong direction) or do we find a replacement? We had to find a new duck and fast.

We called 3 dollar stores, a Party City, checked 2 Walmarts, no luck. Eventually we found a duck at a pet store but, it wasn’t the same. We had to just roll with it and take deceptive pictures.

It worked, no one caught on that we had replaced out mascot. We finished our Wrong Way list but ended up skipping a bunch of points because we were tired. It ended up costing us a podium spot.

Clearly a different duck.

TLDR: We cheated by replacing our mscot that we lost and still lost because we were lazy.

Dusty Ventures > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/03/2018 at 23:51

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Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > Dusty Ventures 10/03/2018 at 23:58

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We were worried that we'd sit down at the finish line and you were going to call us on it. We anticipated a disqualification but, we got away with it.

Dusty Ventures > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 00:11

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Thank the tiny screen on my very old iPhone

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > Dusty Ventures 10/04/2018 at 00:18

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Thanks again for putting the whole thing together, it was the most fun I had this summer. I wish I had gotten on the earlier ones.

Dusty Ventures > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 00:22

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No problem, glad you enjoyed it!

Alfalfa > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 00:32

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Good on ya for keeping the tradition of cheating in m otorsports alive.

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > Alfalfa 10/04/2018 at 00:34

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We should get some retroactive bonus points.

Chariotoflove > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 00:44

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I love that you lost because you couldn’t be bothered. 

Chuckles > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 00:48

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That feels like pretty harmless cheating. It’s not like you faked going to checkpoints. As a fellow competitor I’m not even mad.

Job well done. One of these days I'll post my summary.

facw > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 01:07

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Were those horses the ones in Lincoln?

(I’m worried that there more be more than one such construction in the state, frankly even one is troubling)

boxrocket > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 07:08

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In true Oppo fashion you should have sought out a chicken, because not only are they apparently interchangeable, some people - including a racer/writer of some fame ‘round t hese parts - can't tell the difference anyway.

vondon302 > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/04/2018 at 08:17

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Found it!

I wondered where this came from 

Poor_Sh > Chuckles 10/04/2018 at 17:38

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I agree, and I laughed!

deekster_caddy > Dusty Ventures 10/08/2018 at 15:06

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Wish we could have been there, I have the same sentiments about the 2017 rally - most fun event in a long time, and found so many things I never knew existed!

Owen > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/16/2018 at 22:25

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I ’m not even a little bit salty. Hell, I’ll even make my own mascot replacement-related confession. I broke the Limp Bizkit CD case. It fell off the giant red chair. We bought a copy of another CD at the Book Mill, to replace the broken case, and because I really wanted a copy of Paul’s Boutique, by the esteemed Beastie Boys.

Dusty Ventures > facw 12/19/2018 at 20:29

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Found this comment going back through the “oppo rally” tag. Yes, it’s Ponyhenge

facw > Dusty Ventures 12/19/2018 at 20:42

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I was down in NYC that weekend, but I would have put up a sign before I left had I know oppo was coming.